Self-love; we all talk about it and we all think it is important. But, what is the real meaning of self-love? What is it like to truly love yourself? And why do we tell each other we should love ourselves, but tend to miss this part ourselves? It’s not just a trend, but rather a long journey towards understanding, accepting, and cherishing yourself. To understand the essence of self-love is to learn about yourself to nurture inner peace, resilience, and genuine fulfillment.
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The core of self-love: the real meaning of Self-Love
According to the Oxford English Dictionary: “Self-love: Philosophy. Regard for one’ s own well-being or happiness, considered as a natural and appropriate attitude towards oneself.” (1) This sums it up nicely, however, this is just a definition. Let’s find out the meaning together, so we can put words into action.
At its core, self-love is about creating a deep sense of compassion, acceptance, and respect for yourself. It surpasses vanity or narcissism, it’s quite the opposite. It requires you to recognize your worthiness independent of external achievements or validation.
In essence, self-love lays the foundation for a healthy self-esteem and your own happiness.
To truly love yourself means embracing both your strengths and vulnerabilities, and acknowledging your imperfections with kindness rather than criticism.
It involves prioritizing your well-being —physically, emotionally, and spiritually— by setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and nurturing positive relationships, starting with the one you have with yourself.
What self-love means to me
To me, the real meaning of self-love is giving myself space and time to learn to love myself. Choosing for a better situation for myself, because I feel I deserve and/or need it.
Trying not to be too hard on myself, as well as I’m not being too hard on my friends. Accepting that I can’t reach perfection, because there is no such thing. Because, like all things in life, loving yourself is a process, we have our ups and downs and that is totally normal and okay.
If we just try to allow ourselves to go through this process full of ‘mistakes’ to see them as things to learn from.
For example, last week I had a day on which I was so positive about myself, and the next I felt the worst about myself. At first, I was annoyed and disappointed by the mood switches, but then I realized that’s the way to grow.
I now try to notice my crappy mood and change it to a better one. By allowing myself to feel unhappy and trying to change my feelings, I recognize that I deserve better and that I can do better for myself. This is what self-love means to me.
The Journey to Self-Love
Now we know the real meaning of self-love, let’s achieve it as well. Achieving self-love is not an overnight transformation but a life-long process. Here are some steps that can guide you along this empowering journey:
- Cultivate Self-Awareness:
Begin by exploring your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs without judgment. Understand what triggers negative self-talk or feelings of inadequacy, and challenge them with self-compassion and understanding. - Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize your physical and mental well-being. Engage in activities that nourish your soul, whether it’s through exercise, meditation, creative pursuits, or simply taking time to relax and recharge. - Set Boundaries:
Learn to say no to commitments or relationships that drain your energy or compromise your values. Respect your own needs and prioritize what brings you joy and fulfillment. - Celebrate Your Achievements:
Acknowledge your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Celebrate milestones and accomplishments, and give yourself credit for the progress you’ve made. Celebrate your daily walk for yourself or that you cleaned your kitchen, give credit to yourself! - Forgive Yourself & Everyone Else:
Embrace the reality that mistakes and setbacks are part of life’s journey. Practice self-forgiveness and let go of guilt or regrets, focusing instead on lessons learned and opportunities for growth. - Surround Yourself with Positivity:
Seek out relationships and environments that uplift and support you. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are and encourage your personal growth. - Live Authentically:
Honor your true self by aligning your actions with your values and aspirations. Embrace your uniqueness and let go of comparisons to others, recognizing that your journey is uniquely yours
Feel the love
While you’re working on your self-love and trying to understand yourself in every way and listening to your needs, you will feel more self-love.
So you don’t need to do big things at the beginning, just start by trying to be aware of your own worth and then you’ll want to learn more about how you can love yourself.
The more you try to achieve self-love while trying to be aware of your own worth, the more you will feel the self-love, because then you’re actually working on yourself. This is a great step towards self-love.
Here’s a song about finding your own spark and appreciating yourself, this always makes me really happy and hyped when I hear it.
Challenge yourself:
#1: What is it like for you to love yourself and what is your real meaning of self-love? I would like for you to reflect on this question and write it down. Make 3 bullet points and try to focus on these points for 1 week. After this week you reflect on the week; have you noticed any change in your feelings towards yourself? Analyze what was helpful for you and what you could try out more next week. Just start small: big things have small beginnings, just like babies.
#2: What do you want to love more about yourself? Try to really love it, just start appreciating this thing about yourself. For example, I’m trying to appreciate my body more by just accepting the way my body is and giving it what it needs, like good sleep, exercise and my favorite food as well as healthy food. I’m trying not to be too hard on myself and that’s a great start.
As we go on this transformative journey, remember that self-love is not a destination but a continuous evolution—an ongoing commitment to honoring your unique personality and good looks.
With love,
CECA
C’est ca ~ That’s it
