Feedback, we all hate it and we all love it. It’s a double-sided concept. If your mum gives you some feedback on something you did, you don’t like. But if someone you look up to, you would love to get their opinion and feedback. A lot of people avoid feedback because it can feel uncomfortable, even threatening. However, seeking and accepting feedback is crucial for your personal growth. Here’s why you should embrace it, backed by science.
Table of Contents
Getting feedback
Feedback, simply put, is information about how one is doing in an effort to improve. It comes in many forms—praise, constructive criticism, or even just observations. What makes feedback particularly valuable is that it provides an external perspective on your actions, which is often different from your own.
When we get feedback, often our egos get hurt and we feel the need to be defensive. You can start to feel a little angry and you can snap a little which causes an argument to break out.
However, this only indicates that YOU are having trouble with getting feedback. This is your insecurity speaking. Most of the times the person that gave you feedback doesn’t mean to be rude or hurt you. That’s why you shouldn’t see feedback as something offensive but as something you can learn from.
Feedback is very powerful when used in the right way:
1. Feedback Helps You Learn Faster
Research shows that feedback accelerates learning. In a study published in Psychological Science (1996), researchers found that people who received feedback on their performance were able to improve their skills much faster than those who did not. The reason? Feedback helps to clarify the gap between where you are and where you want to be, allowing you to adjust your approach accordingly.
Think of it this way: without feedback, you might keep practicing the wrong techniques, or worse, stay stuck in your comfort zone. Feedback helps you pinpoint where you need to grow and pushes you to stretch beyond your usual limits.
2. Feedback Enhances Motivation and Engagement
You might think that getting negative feedback would discourage you, but research indicates the opposite. According to a study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, individuals who received feedback—whether positive or negative—tended to be more motivated and engaged in their work. The key is how the feedback is framed. When feedback is delivered in a constructive way, it fosters a growth mindset, encouraging people to see challenges as opportunities to improve.
A growth mindset, as explained by psychologist Carol Dweck, is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and learning. Feedback, especially when it focuses on the process rather than the person, nurtures this mindset.
3. Feedback Builds Emotional Resilience
Receiving feedback, especially when it’s critical, can be tough on your ego. However, learning to accept feedback is a vital part of emotional resilience. It helps you separate your sense of self-worth from your performance. When you embrace feedback, you begin to understand that it’s about your actions, not you.
A study by the University of California found that people who actively seek feedback are generally more open to emotional challenges and setbacks. They view criticism as an opportunity to grow rather than a personal attack. The more you practice receiving feedback, the more resilient and adaptable you become to life’s challenges.
4. Feedback Strengthens Relationships and Communication
Receiving and offering feedback is also essential for building strong, healthy relationships. When you ask for feedback, it shows that you value the other person’s perspective and are committed to improving. This fosters trust, openness, and a sense of collaboration.
A study in The Journal of Organizational Behavior found that open communication and the sharing of constructive feedback were key to strengthening both personal and professional relationships. When both parties in a relationship are open to feedback, it allows them to resolve conflicts more effectively and work together toward mutual goals.
Seeking feedback & accepting feedback
Understanding that feedback is essential is one thing, but knowing how to seek and accept it is another. Here are a few tips to make the most of the feedback you receive:
1. Be Specific in Your Requests
Instead of asking, “Do you have any feedback for me?”, try asking something more specific: “How can I improve my presentation skills?” or “What did you think about how I handled that meeting?” This directs the person giving feedback to focus on actionable insights.
2. Listen Actively and Open-Mindedly
When receiving feedback, try not to react defensively. Take a moment to listen without interrupting, and ask clarifying questions if needed. Remember, the goal is improvement, not justification.
3. Take Action
Once you receive feedback, use it. Action shows that you value the feedback, and it helps you grow. Don’t just file it away in your brain—put it into practice.
4. Seek Feedback Regularly
Don’t wait for performance reviews or big moments to ask for feedback. Make it a habit to seek input on a regular basis. This creates a continuous loop of improvement and helps you stay on track.
The ego part
Overcoming your ego can be quite a challenge. Commit to setting aside your ego and your pride, because only form each other we can learn. Getting feedback has nothing to do with not doing something the right way or not being a good person. It is just someone’s different take on you.
You’ve probably given many people (unwanted) advice of which you thought they should accept your advice. So now also start accepting their advice yourself.
However sometimes feedback is totally unwanted and some people don’t even want to listen to what you have to say. In this situation, just keep the feedback to yourself and spare yourself the energy, because if someone doesn’t want it, they will also not do anything with your given feedback.
So, if it’s asked or you feel there’s room for feedback: go ahead and give it. But when there’s no room to give it: don’t give it. Because people will not learn if they don’t want to learn, and that’s okay.
Feedback is an essential tool for personal growth. It helps you learn more quickly, stay motivated, become emotionally resilient, and build better relationships. While it can feel uncomfortable at times, the benefits of seeking and accepting feedback far outweigh the discomfort. So, next time someone offers you feedback, embrace it. Your future self will thank you for it!
With love,
CECA
C’est ca ~ That’s it
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