Speaking more confidently is a tool we should all learn to feel better, to communicate better, to come across as someone who is not afraid to speak their truth, and to be confident. The way your communication skills are, can be changed. You are not stuck with the way you speak; the way you speak is just a series of behaviors that can be changed if you do so actively.
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Your style of communication is important
The way you speak, move your hands, use your voice, use your body, your tone, your emotions on your face, your volume and your energy all determine the way you speak and the way you are perceived.
If you want to be perceived differently, you have to start communicating differently. Which isn’t as hard and oerwhelming as it looks, just start small an become big.
When you speak very softly with your head tilted down and your arms crossed with the sound of your voice coming from the back of your mouth, you are not perceived as open, confident, nor as a nice person to talk to.
So the way you show yourself and the way you use your body to communicate determines the way you are perceived.
Communication skills: you at your finest
Don’t get interrupted & don’t let errors determine the conversation
How to not get interrupted:
Being interrupted while speaking can be quite annoying. 99% of the people that interrupt you do it because they want to help you or are excited about something. Nonetheless, being interrupted is still annoying. So, how do you not get interrupted?
Stop being easy to interrupt.
It’s about two things: vocal presence and physical presence. Be vocally present; speak loud, clear, and not too fast. In combination, use your hand gestures and body to be perceived as important: use levelling hand gestures, step forward and stand tall & straight.
Your goal while speaking shouldn’t be to be perfect because no one is perfect. It should be to bring energy and value into the conversation and contribute something.
When you make an error or a small mistake, don’t fixate on the fact that you made that error. DON’T make a big deal of the error occuring. If you make a big deal out of it, every one will make a big deal out of it. You pause, you compose, you breath and you go on.
If you do make a big deal out of it, people will remember your mistake and you for being clumsy, etc., this is not the impression you want to leave behind.
Change this about your speaking style; speaking more confidently
- Ending your sentence in a lower pitch:
If you don’t end your answer in a lower pitch, people will not follow what you want to say, and your message will be less clear. So don’t talk at the same pitch the whole time; let your voice fluctuate in your sentences. - There’s nothing wrong with your accent, it’s your pronunciation and articulation:
Stop being ashamed of your accent; your accent doesn’t matter; if your pronunciation and articulation are right, you will be better understood. Now, try to make extreme mouth moments while speaking some random sentences… Notice how you have a little break between each word; this is staccato style speaking. You would want to use the legato style, this is where you connect your words in a flowing way, link the words together while making mouth movements. Practice makes perfect 😉
What to say when you don’t know what to say
- Talk about FORD:
Talk and ask about Family, Occupations, Recreation, Dreams; in this way you always have something to talk about and you never run out of questions or stories. - Stop being afraid to not know the answer:
When you don’t know something, don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t know. Don’t give an answer that might be true and then later on hear that you were wrong. Just say you don’t exactly know, say that you would like to look into it before answering and tell them when you will get back to them about it (acknowledge, commit, follow up). If it’s something you can’t look into, then just say you don’t know.
Your body language as your weapon; speaking more confidently
Your body language is such a powerful tool while speaking; when you don’t use your body in the way that it helps you, the way you are perceived can be dramatically different. There are several skills you can implement:
- Wrongly using your hands:
Stop hiding your hands in your pockets, stop crossing them before your chest, and stop placing them on your hips. If you put your hands in these places you will start moving from these places: your hands will move weirdly and you gesture from your pockets, you will move your crossed arms up and down and shift you upper body forwards and backwards, you will start rocking your hips in ways you will not be perceived right.
If you want to be perceived right you need to let your hands move freely, use the Placater and the Leveler.
Placater lacks a little authority, because it’s the cousin of the I-don’t-know-gesture. So use the Leveler, use your hands low and leveled, keeping your handpalms faced down. - Stop stepping backwards:
When we’re enthusiastic and also nervous, we tend to step backwards, to try and remove ourself from the space, this will only make us look shy and as if we don’t want to be there. Stop stepping backwards, stand still or step forward, right when you feel like stepping backward, step forward and show people you are there and you are not afraid to show yourself. When you do this people will perceive you as an authority and confident.
Coming across as important; speaking more confidently
Most of us want to come across as important, to be taken seriously, and to not get interrupted. How do we achieve to be seen this way and to get your message across? We’re here to elaborate it to you. There are several skills you can implement:
- Take a BREAK:
After you say something take a pause, pause between your sentences to let people process and think about what you said. When you take a break, you will also get rid of using filler words and non-words like: like, uhmm, I don’t know, do you know what I mean, in this way, you will be taken more seriously. - Speak slowly when saying something important:
When you are talking about something important or something people need to remember, say it slowly, and make it sound important by taking your time. When something’s not that important, speed it up. - Speak loudly:
If you increase your volume and step into your confidence, no one will see you’re ashamed. Don’t bounce back once you speak up; stand firmly and just use your voice loud and clear. However, don’t speak too loud. You should speak loud enough so that people can understand what you’re saying, but not so loud that people get distracted from what you’re saying.
Now that you’ve got all these tips in your back pocket, it’s time to put them into action. Remember, speaking confidently isn’t about being perfect—it’s about expressing yourself with power and clarity. Whether it’s standing tall, using your voice with presence, or simply owning your mistakes with grace, every small step you take will help you grow into a more confident communicator. So, go ahead—practice, embrace the process, and watch how your words, body, and energy transform. You’ve got this. Speak up, speak clearly, and speak like the confident, capable person you are!
With love,
CECA
C’est ca ~ That’s it
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