Start Talking to Yourself: Fully Supporting Yourself

Talking to yourself is the best way of supporting yourself. However, this is rather hard to do and to do it in the right way. How can you really support yourself by talking to yourself, what should and shouldn’t you say to yourself, why will it even help you to support yourself? These are all important things to discover, let us walk you through it.

Talking to yourself

For some people talking to themselves comes naturally, some people think people who talk to themselves are weird, some don’t even notice that they are talking to themselves.

However, talking to yourself is completely normal. In fact, most of us – if not all of us – talk to ourselves or engage in some form of self-talk everyday.

Self-talk refers to the narration inside your head, also called inner speech. It differs from mental imagery or recalling facts and figures. Psychologists define self-talk as verbalized thoughts directed to yourself or some facet of your life.

This includes personal conversations, reflections you have throughout the day, or speaking out loud to yourself (the most self-talk adults do is silent and in their minds)

Stop listening, start talking

Stop listening, you ask, listening to what? Whenever I’m anxious, my voice in my head is talking to me, I listen to it and then my anxiety only gets worse.

When I listen to myself, I take on all kinds of things that make me more uneasy, frustrated or anxious.

However, if you go against your own voice and actively take back control by talking to yourself with positivity. You start to lift yourself up and you will enjoy your own company better, which is really important because you are your own biggest company.

At first, it’s rather hard to start talking to yourself, but once you get the hang of it, you will be proud that you’re getting stronger mentally and you will begin to feel better about yourself.

Your best friend

Taking over control by talking to yourself, sounds nice right? But how do you even do this? It sounds kind of weird an vague. Spoiler-alert: it is not vague and weird, because everyone does it, but we just do it in the positive way!

You are going to start to talk to yourself like you are talking to your best friend! Well, that’s pathetic…..

It is not! You should be your own best friend because you spend 100% of your time with yourself.

Want to read more about your biggest company being yourself? Read this.

So, instead of listening to your voice telling you how bad you suck at something. Start telling yourself the things you would rather wanna hear and the things you would say to your best friend.

listening to yourself	talking to yourself
“I’m not good enough.”	“I am enough as I am, and I am constantly growing and improving.”
“I always fail.”	“Every setback is an opportunity to learn and grow. Failure is part of the journey to success.”
“No one cares about me.”	“I am worthy of love and connection, and there are people who value and appreciate me, even if I don’t always see it.”
‘I don’t deserve to be happy or successful.”	“I deserve happiness and success just like everyone else. I am worthy of all the good things life has to offer.”
“I can’t change.”	“I have the power to change and grow, even if it takes time and effort. My past doesn’t define my future.”
“People will reject me if they know the real me.”	“Being authentic attracts the right people into my life. Those who accept the real me are the ones who truly matter.”
“I’ll never be as attractive/smart/succes ful as X.”	“Everyone has their own unique strengths and journey. I am focused on my personal growth and the things I can achieve.”
“I’m too old/young to do this.”	“It’s never too late or too early to pursue my dreams. Every stage of life offers new opportunities.”
“I don’t have time.”	“I can make time for the things that truly matter. It’s about prioritizing what aligns with my values and goals.”
“I shouldn’t even try because I will just mess it up.”	“Trying is how I grow and get better. Mistakes are part of the process, and each attempt brings me closer to success.”
“I’m a burden to others.”	“My presence and needs are valid, and it’s okay to ask for support. Others want to help, just as I enjoy helping them.”
“Everything bad happens to me.”	“While challenges arise, I have the resilience to overcome them. There are also many good things in my life that I can appreciate.”
“It’s too late for me.”	“It’s never too late to start fresh, learn something new, or create a life I’m proud of. Each day is a new opportunity.”
“I’ll never be happy.”	“Happiness is something I can create from within in small moments, and I have the power to create more of it in my life over time.”

By consciously adopting these positive reframes you can reshape their inner dialogue, build self-confidence, and approach life’s challenges with a growth-oriented mindset.

What you say matters

Research has shown that: ‘positive self-talk has beneficial effects on cognition (in particular, concentration and focus-related variables), cognitive anxiety, and the technical execution of movement skills.’

If you always listen/talk negatively to yourself you will not perform better, you will get worse. Your mind will start believing the things you say and unconsciously you will diminish your performance.

This has to do with the growth-mindset. CECA: “A growth-mindset is distancing your identity from performance and rather attaching your identity to your effort, and your sense of motivation to effort itself and to the process of enjoying learning and getting better at learning anything.”

“A growth mindset is the idea that we can get better at things, and that our abilities are not fixed, but rather that our abilities are adaptable. The core of the growth mindset is that our brains can change; neuroplasticity: is the nervous system’s ability to change in response to experience.”

Do you want to learn how you can learn anything & create the ability to grow? Read this.

Huberman teaches us that what you’ve been told or tell yourself matters reagrding to performace.

Huberman states that it’s better to give yourself praise for the things you do (verbs about labels of effort), not for the things you are(adjectives about labels of identity).

So start talking to yourself with positivity and praise yourself for your effort.

Do you want to learn more about growth-mindset and Huberman’s tips? Read this.

My conversations

I noticed that my personal conversations in my head used to be filled with negative self-talk, always focusing on what I wasn’t capable of or what could go wrong.

Over time, I became more aware of these patterns and made a conscious effort to shift them.

Instead of telling myself “I’m not good enough”, “I always fail” or “I’m lazy” I began to embrace thoughts like “I’m capable of growth”, “Every setback teaches me something valuable.” and “You can’t put in more energy than you have, take your time.”

Although this hasn’t come easy to me, now I’m getting pretty good at talking nicer to myself and taking over the negative thoughts in my head. Needless to say is that I also have my bad days, but this is only human.

This shift from negative to positive thinking has transformed my mindset, helping me feel more confident, empowered, and open to new possibilities.

Here are some of the big takeaways of today:

Stop listening to yourself, and start talking to yourself in moments of anxiety.

Talk to yourself and about yourself just like you talk about someone you love.

What you say to yourself matters, so be kind.

So stop the negative crap and start the positive talks, you are worthy of your own appreciation because after all you are your own biggest company. So why not also be your own best friend? Also, don’t be hard on yourself when you are beginning with the shift in your mindset, this will take a while and that’s totally okay. You’ve got this!

With love,
CECA

C’est ca ~ That’s it